


A year

by mhunter10



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Drinking, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Post-Canon, Sad philip, Worried Lukas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 23:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10977534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mhunter10/pseuds/mhunter10
Summary: Lukas can't find Philip and he doesn’t know why until he remembers what day it is.





	A year

Lukas checked his phone then looked around one last time for any sign of his boyfriend before heading inside the school. The bell rung just as he slid into his first period seat. He tried to pay attention, but the whole time he was hoping his phone would buzz in his pocket with a message from Philip. He’d been acting weird the past couple days, but would always deny it or say he was just tired when Lukas asked. He was starting to get worried when lunch rolled around and he still hadn’t heard anything. Maybe Philip was sick and just couldn’t text? It wasn’t like him not to at least let Lukas know if he wasn’t coming to school, but perhaps his phone had died or something.

“Lukas…Lukas!” Rose nudged his arm to get his attention, giving him a look that was both annoyed and concerned. “You keep looking at your phone. Mr. Lee almost saw you. What’s up?”

Lukas sighed, flipping a few pages in his textbook. He didn’t know what he was supposed to be reading so he stopped.

“Is it…Philip?” She guessed, leaning forward a little to look at his face.

Lukas thinks how crazy it is that there was a time when Rose would’ve asked if it was something motocross related bothering him. Even then she knew what was important enough to him to distract him. It makes him feel guilty that he used her for so long, knowing even when he’d asked her out for the first time that he wasn’t really doing it for himself. But she’d always been attuned to him in ways he could never be to her. He looks at her and nods. She doesn’t say or ask anything else, but she does give him a hug after class. It’s something her friends didn’t really understand; how she could still be so close to the guy who lied to and about her. They thought she was stupid to forgive Lukas and crazy for being friends with Philip, but she did it anyway and said she needed new friends anyway. Lukas wonders when she got so brave, but he realizes she’s always been that way despite how she acted around her so-called friends.

When Lukas pulls out of the school lot, he turns towards Gabe and Helen’s, hoping he’ll find Philip or some answers. But when he knocks on the door he gets neither. He doesn’t know what to do so he sits on the porch steps and waits. His stomach hurts. He hasn’t eaten much since breakfast, but he’s more scared than hungry. The only messages he gets are from his dad wondering where he is. He tells him he’ll be home in a few hours because that’s what he really hopes. It’s almost evening when he hears Gabe and Helen laughing as they come around the house. They’ve been on the water. They don’t notice Lukas until he can’t waste any more time.

“Is Philip with you?” He asks, feeling bad when they stop abruptly with wide eyes. He’s glad Helen doesn’t have her gun on her. They look confused and a little embarrassed they were caught in a moment.

“Hey, Lukas,” Gabe says first, smiling so Lukas knows they’re not mad he surprised them.

But it’s Helen who realizes what he’s asked and sees his face. “Lukas? What’s wrong?”

“Did Philip stay home today?” Lukas asks, hoping there’s a simple explanation and therefore no cause for alarm. He can already see Helen’s brain putting things together, so he knows he won’t like the answer.

“No. He left for school this morning. You saying you haven’t seen him today?” Helen steps closer and the look on her face is scary. She’s halfway between mom and cop and the result is hauntingly different from the wife she was moments ago.

Lukas shakes his head because that’s all he can do with her gaze locked on him.

“Are you sure? Maybe you missed him?” Gabe asks because he’s thinking instead of panicking. He means well, but he knows Lukas and Philip wouldn’t go a day without seeing each other if they could help it.

“He hasn’t answered any of my texts,” Lukas says. Now he’s really starting to worry. Philip doesn’t do this. He wouldn’t. What if something happened on his way to school? An awful feeling creeps up Lukas’ throat and he swallows hard, shifting his feet like he wants to run.

Helen has gone silent, staring up at the house like Philip is just inside because she couldn’t possibly have missed if something wasn’t right. 

“Okay, let’s just all go in the house,” Gabe suggests. Again, it’s logical. They can’t do anything standing outside, but it doesn’t feel right to go sit down and hope he shows up. They don’t have time. Philip could be hurt or lost or…

“What day is it?” Lukas suddenly asks.

“Tuesday,” Gabe answers, looking skeptical.

“No, no, I mean like—“

Helen comes out of her trance and looks at Lukas. “The day of the murders.”

Now it’s Gabe’s turn to go silent. But Lukas jumps into action. He knows where Philip is, he just has to get to him. He grabs his helmet from the steps and sprints to his bike, starting the engine before he’s even on it. Helen says to call them and to be careful, and he’s off so fast his back wheel skids a little. He speeds through the woods towards the one place they haven’t been back to since a year ago. The place they’d blocked out of their minds. He slows down as the cabin comes into view, hopping off quickly and heading up to the door. It looks dark inside with the sun setting, just like that night. He looks around, his heart racing because it feels too similar. He pushes the door and walks in.

“Philip? Philip?” He calls out but his eyes are still adjusting. It feels too warm and like the walls are too close, but he keeps going until his foot knocks something over. It scares him as it hits the floor and rolls on the uneven boards. It’s a bottle and it clinks against several others. He hears a groan that scares him even more. He takes out his phone and puts his finger on Helen’s cell number, but he also uses the light to see better. The groan came from the floor. Lukas walks forward, feeling stupid for coming here alone just like the countless nightmares he’d had. He gets closer and his foot connects with what feels like a body. “Ph-Philip?”

“Lukas…,” the voice moans, then there’s a sob. It’s Philip.

“What the hell, Philip!” Lukas shouts, dropping to his knees and pulling his boyfriend to him. His heart is thumping in his chest but it’s Philip. He’s here. He’s okay. He smells like alcohol, which explains the bottles. It feels like Philip is slipping from his hold but really he leans away to put another bottle to his lips. He chugs down more liquid, spilling some, before Lukas realizes. “Hey, hey! Stop that! What are you thinking?” He takes the bottle and sets it far enough away that a drunken Philip couldn’t coordinate to get.

“I need that,” he whines, feebly fighting his boyfriend. He burps but it sounds more like he just barely kept his stomach down.

Lukas ignores him, holding his face and pushing his hair back. He’s been growing it out and it’s gotten long. He’s gotten beer and sweat in it. “Have you been here all day?”

Philip’s eyes keep drooping but he nods. It looks like it hurts.

“Come on, get up. We gotta get you home,” Lukas says, starting to pull him up. He gets him standing when it seems to register what he’s said. Philip shakes his head, trying to push him off.

“No, no…leave me. I want to…I need this…please,” he pleads.

“What are you talking about, Philip? You’re drunk.” Lukas manages to get him onto the bed.

Philip shakes his head, tears forming. “This is it. This is the day, the place, the time…where it all began,” he somehow gets out of Lukas’ grasp and picks up an empty bottle from the floor. He throws it against the closet where Lukas hid that night and it shatters. “Where he ruined everything!” He yells, stumbling as he breaks down again. He falls and Lukas catches him, cradling his head in his lap as he cries.

“Shhh, Philip, it’s gonna be okay,” Lukas tries, rubbing his back. He hasn’t seen him this drunk since the night of Rose’s party and he hasn’t seen him this upset since the days after Anne.

“It’s been a year,” Philip says after he’s calmed down some.

Lukas doesn’t know what to say. Philip had been acting weird and he hadn’t figured out why until it mattered. He wonders how he could ever forget the anniversary of the day their lives changed forever. For Lukas it had been the start of all his problems from the moment he realized he didn’t want to stop kissing Philip. For Philip it started a chain of events that would all culminate in the death of his mother. Of course he couldn’t forget. Of course he wasn’t okay. Even after a year has passed. Lukas held him tighter.

Eventually Philip cries himself to sleep. Lukas sent out a group text to Helen, Gabe, Rose and his dad letting them know they were both okay, before he closed his eyes too.

It’s early morning when Lukas wakes up. The cabin looks even more eerie in the light, and he wants to leave and never come back. He hopes Philip feels the same. His dad has mentioned tearing it down; too many kids coming there to scare each other for laughs.

Lukas carefully wakes Philip and gets him onto his bike. They only have to stop once for him to puke into some bushes. When they get the the house, Lukas ushers him inside and upstairs to his room, after checking in with Gabe and Helen. He gets Philip to drink two full cups of water before he begs to sleep off his hangover. Lukas lets him because he’s tired too, he realizes and he’s kind of in pain from holding Philip oddly all night. So they climb into his bed and under the covers. Lukas kisses Philip’s forehead as he falls asleep.

Philip wakes up first, leaving Lukas to sleep while he showers and brushes his teeth. His eyes are puffy from crying and Lukas kisses them when he crawls back into the bed with nothing but his towel between them. They know Helen and Gabe are up. They can hear them downstairs and they know that they know at least one of them is up, but they kiss anyway. They remove the layers and they touch and go further anyway because they need it. They both climax, breathing hard and looking at each other like they’re the only ones who will ever know and understand what happened that day.

“Afternoon, boys,” Gabe says with a smile, as they enter the kitchen. He doesn’t let on that he’s aware of what teenagers in love do alone, like always. It’s appreciated. “I made sloppy joes, if you’re hungry.”

They eat and talk. Helen comes back from her walk and they talk seriously about getting Philip some help. Philip knows drinking is his crutch. He was binging and blacking out by the time he was twelve. They’re amazed he isn’t worse, but they still make it clear that something needs to change. Philip agrees once he looks at Lukas. He doesn’t want rehab, and Helen and Gabe promise they won’t do that to him.

When they return to school, Rose is happy to see them, hugging them both and ignoring the petty scoffs.

Philip decides to make a film of his journey getting the help he needs, and submits it with his college applications. Maybe some accept him for his name in the news, but he decides on the one that recognizes his talents.

Before they both know it, it’s been another year. As the day gets closer, Philip withdraws some. On the day, he disappears again but tells Lukas where he’ll be. When Lukas joins him, they kiss. It’s still hard but being with each other makes it easy.

Lukas tells him when his first sponsored circuit race is.


End file.
